Are you one of the lucky millennials who has a dad that tells embarrassing/awkward/not funny jokes? Do you usually just roll your eyes or say “Daaaaad” and walk away? While we like your style, we also believe in being prepared, so we’ve gathered dad jokes that will impress even the punniest of dads. Use these the next time you go home and enjoy the reaction you get from your dad. We imagine it to be something like this…
Let’s start off with some Pictorial Dad Jokes. We suggest using these if you’re not ready to enter into a joke battle with your dad (aka he’s a pun king), but you want to share in the fun.
For the classic dad:
For the hip dad (or the dad that thinks he’s hip, but we know better):
For the dad who loves visual puns:
For the dad who loves telling jokes that no one gets without an explanation:
For the practical joker dad who also loves a good pun:
For the witty dad:
Ok, now that you’re warmed up, here are jokes that can help you beat your dad at his own game…
Questionable Dad Jokes
(See what I did there? If you don’t by the end of this section, you’re not ready to take on your dad).
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
Because it was a cheetah.
How much does a hipster weigh?
How do you organize a space party?
What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?
What’s a Freudian slip?
When you say one thing but mean your mother.
Need an ark to save two of every animal?
I Noah guy.
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Did you get a haircut?
Actually, I got them all cut!
What concert costs only 45 cents?
50 cent featuring Nickelback.
Why is the pepper the nosiest kind of food?
Because it’s jalapeno business.
Punny Play on Words
(If you need to ask someone why this is a dad joke, please stop before you hurt yourself).
I took the shell off of my racing snail to see if it went any faster. If anything, it just made it more sluggish.
Sometimes I squat on the floor, put my arms around my legs, and lean forward. That’s how I roll.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it! It was a shitzu.
I dreamt about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
My friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water….I think he meant well.
If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas.
Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
A book just fell on my head.
I’ve only got my-shelf to blame.
Dads are great, especially dads that can’t help making jokes that really aren’t funny. We applaud their effort and you should too. When you’re home on break, surprise your dad by hitting him with some punny dad jokes. He will be so happy and you will have an epic story to tell your friends.
Let us know how your dad joke battle goes! Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, comment here, write on our Facebook wall, Tweet us (it’s easy to get in touch with us obviously).
And one more for good measure (see what I did? Ok, that’s all).
Eat, drink, and be punny!