Infographic

Advertisements

15 Signs Food is your Best Friend

Life is stressful. Responsibilities keep piling up and sometimes it can feel like you’re drowning. But, when the delivery man arrives at your door and you take that warm bundle and place it lovingly on the table, everything is right in the world. Because food, in all its delicious glory, makes life infinitely better, just like a good friend. Here are 15 signs that food is your true best friend.

1.) You’re always excited to see it.

Excited to see food

2.) Sometimes it may disappoint or upset you.

When something should taste good but doesn't

3.) But, you still love it with all your heart.

Food first, family second

4.) In fact, you have no idea what you would do without it.

Food is my entire life

5.) You want your other friends to love your best friend as much as you do and you will constantly introduce the two. It would be so great if you could all hang out!

You will like pancakes

6.) But, you can be a little territorial when it comes to your best friend.

Barney Mine

7.) So, if someone wants to hang out with your best friend without you, you get super upset.

Joey doens't share food

8.) You start to have withdrawals when you haven’t seen each other in a while.

Where's the Mac N Cheese?

9.) When you’re with your best friend, it’s like nothing else exists.

Spongebob and cookies

10.) You never judge each other. If you want to eat that fifth doughnut or finish the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting, you won’t hear any protests from your delicious companion.

Food won't say no to you

11.) You are often silly when you’re together. It’s one of the things you love most about your relationship.

Kid being silly while eating

12.) You do restrain yourselves a little more in public, but all bets are off when you’re alone.

Doritos

13.) You can spend all day together and never get bored.

Night Cheese Tina Fey

14.) If someone has a problem with your best friend, they will have to answer to you.

You don't mess with anybody's food

15.) No matter what happens, your best friend knows exactly what to do to make it better.

Pizza fixes everything

Best friends support one another and can always put a smile on each other’s face. So, if you’re ever in need of some happiness,  head on over to MainLine Munchies and spend some quality time with your best friend. You’ll be glad you did.

Dogs Understand Your Relationship with Food

Humans share a special bond with food. Some people eat to live, but MainLine Munchies says live to eat. We spend a lot of time eating, so why not enjoy each and every bite? Some people won’t understand your love of food, but these dogs know how you feel.

When you see food, you immediately start drooling and until you get some, you won’t stop thinking about it.

Dog licking mouth repeatedly

You attend parties for the free food. As soon as you arrive, you scope out the food table. Your friends can find you later. Right now, your only concern is figuring out how to stack copious amounts of food on this tiny plate.

Dog uses chair to get food

If someone has food and you don’t, you WILL get some.

Dog takes food from kid

They really don’t have a choice.

Dog takes other dogs food

Seriously, nothing will stop you.

Dog licking food off baby's face

It amazes your friends how it can take you forever to go out, but when it comes to food, you are the first one there, fork in hand.

Dog eating standing up

You’re horrified when people ask for some of your food because you just don’t share food. At all. Ever.

When someone tries to take your food

Food fell on the floor? You’ll eat it. Five second rule, right?

Lazy dog

You have a few weird (yet awesome) food skills that your friends always insist you show off at parties.

Dog Eating Pizza

You don’t always look your best while devouring your meal…

Dog Eating Cabbage

Sometimes you look absolutely ridiculous. But, you’re enjoying yourself and you don’t have to look at you, so who cares, right?

Dog Eating Air

When you’re eating, you don’t stop until you’re done. No matter what happens.

Dog Eating, Kitten Attacks

Losing your food/realizing you have no food can send you into a panic, so you like to have your food close, whether you’re eating or not.

Dog Holding Treats in Mouth

Bottom line is: you love food. Dogs get it, we get it, so that makes us your new best friend, right?

Smiling gif

Seriously, though, mealtime is the best time of the day, so order some take-out courtesy of MainLine Munchies and…

Treat Yoself

You deserve it because you’re awesome.

Tagged , , , ,

13 Non-Dads who have had Dad Moments

Have you ever thought of a dad joke? Are you the type to blurt it out right then and there or do you keep it to yourself and store it in the mental vault for later?  Whatever your style, you’re not alone. Here are 14 people who have embraced the spirit of dad jokes despite the fact that they aren’t dads (yet).

1.) New twist on an old favorite.

Classic Dad Joke

2.) Follow the lead of these wise dad jokers. They can teach you how to tread the tricky waters of puns.

Follow their lead

3.) This kid could use some more lessons. You have to be one with the dad.

Not ready for dad joke battles

4.) This kid understands and embraces the comedic gold of dad jokes.

Dad joke rash

5.) It’s not always enough to possess the ability to spout dad jokes. Rule #1: Make sure your opponent is willing to play.

Dad joke failure

6.) Sometimes dad moments happen when no one is around to appreciate them. Just let it happen.

Chandler dad moment

7.) Moms like to tell dad jokes too. Maybe because they have spent so many years listening to them…

Dad Mom Joke

8.) The true dad joke artist doesn’t prepare jokes ahead of time. He spouts them in response to his situation, like so:

1

2

3

4

9.) They are also good at taking something serious and transforming it into humor (or at least an attempt at humor).

Dad joke watch

10.) Do phones have personalities? It seems this one does.

Dad joke phone

11.) Dad jokes can be shared among friends.

Thyme dad joke

12.) While it’s great to fire off puns, the dad joke connoisseur knows when a perfectly timed joke is better than multiple random ones.

Sea Dad Joke

13.) If you have reached this level of awesome, there is nothing left to teach you. Share your wisdom with others, ignore the eye rolls, and find someone who will have these kind of exchanges with you:

Dad Joke Exchange

Remember: If you have to explain your joke, you’re doing it wrong.

1

2

3

4

You could have a dad moment too. Here’s some jokes to start you off and get those dad-like creative juices flowing: https://mainlinemunchiesblog.wordpress.com/2013/11/20/brush-up-on-your-dad-humor/.

Now go forth and spread dad jokes to all who will listen.

Brush up on your Dad Humor

Are you one of the lucky millennials who has a dad that tells embarrassing/awkward/not funny jokes? Do you usually just roll your eyes or say “Daaaaad” and walk away? While we like your style, we also believe in being prepared, so we’ve gathered dad jokes that will impress even the punniest of dads. Use these the next time you go home and enjoy the reaction you get from your dad. We imagine it to be something like this…

Surprised Dad face

Let’s start off with some Pictorial Dad Jokes. We suggest using these if you’re not ready to enter into a joke battle with your dad (aka he’s a pun king), but you want to share in the fun.

For the classic dad:

The Fruitles

For the hip dad (or the dad that thinks he’s hip, but we know better):

That's my Jam

For the dad who loves visual puns:

Loafers

For the dad who loves telling jokes that no one gets without an explanation:

Alpaca Lunch

For the practical joker dad who also loves a good pun:

Fridge Dad Joke

For the witty dad:

Car Dad Joke

Ok, now that you’re warmed up, here are jokes that can help you beat your dad at his own game…

Questionable Dad Jokes
(See what I did there? If you don’t by the end of this section, you’re not ready to take on your dad).

Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
Because it was a cheetah.

How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram.

How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?
1forest1

What’s a Freudian slip?
When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Boat Dad Joke

Need an ark to save two of every animal?
I Noah guy.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.

Did you get a haircut?
Actually, I got them all cut!

What concert costs only 45 cents?
50 cent featuring Nickelback.

Why is the pepper the nosiest kind of food?
Because it’s jalapeno business.

Punny Play on Words
(If you need to ask someone why this is a dad joke, please stop before you hurt yourself).

Tool Dad Joke

I took the shell off of my racing snail to see if it went any faster. If anything, it just made it more sluggish.

Sometimes I squat on the floor, put my arms around my legs, and lean forward. That’s how I roll.

I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it! It was a shitzu.

I dreamt about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

My friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water….I think he meant well.

If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas.
Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

A book just fell on my head.
I’ve only got my-shelf to blame.

Hokey Pokey Dad Joke

CLASSIC DAD.

Dads are great, especially dads that can’t help making jokes that really aren’t funny. We applaud their effort and you should too. When you’re home on break, surprise your dad by hitting him with some punny dad jokes. He will be so happy and you will have an epic story to tell your friends.

Let us know how your dad joke battle goes! Email us at jokes@mainlinemunchies.com, comment here, write on our Facebook wall, Tweet us (it’s easy to get in touch with us obviously).

And one more for good measure (see what I did? Ok, that’s all).

Beethoven dad joke

Eat, drink, and be punny!

Tagged , , , ,

Need to get out of a tough situation? Food can help.

Have you ever been caught in an awkward situation and didn’t know how to get away? We’ve all been there. It can be difficult to escape once you’re stuck in an uncomfortable vortex of unpleasantness.

That’s why we devised 5 ways you can use food to get out of any situation.

Escape Route #1: 

Shove the closest edible thing in your mouth and feign a coughing fit. We suggest not actually choking, but if you’re that desperate, go for it.

Breakfast Club coughing

Why this works: The other person won’t be able to get a word in while you’re hacking up a lung and you can escape under the pretense that you need water.

Escape Route #2:

Pretend your stomach just growled and head to the closest eatery for a “snack.” We suggest running there to discourage anyone from following you.

Stomach Growl

Why this works: If you sprint away, the bringer of awkwardness should get the hint (at least for the moment). Warning: this tactic may not stop the persistent. If the person approaches you later, use another one of our handy strategies. One is bound to work.

Escape Route #3:

If you’re already eating, chew in an obnoxious manner. Leave your mouth open, smack your lips, do whatever it takes until they leave.

Chewing Amanda Bynes

Why this works: No one enjoys seeing someone else’s half-chewed food.

Theresa Disgusted

Escape Route #4: 

Sometimes you have to make an awkward situation even worse to make it go away. Try making strange comments to your food.

Robin want you inside me

Why this works: Isn’t it obvious?

Jack Sparrow Disgust

Escape Route #5:

Spill. A drink, food, on yourself, on someone else. Just spill.

Spill on others

Why this works: If someone spilled something on or near you, would you get up? Exactly.

Food is a great escape method, which is another reason why we love it so much. Try these tactics and let us know what happens! If you have other ideas, please share them. We food lovers have to stick together.

United we eat,

MainLine Munchies

Tagged , , ,

15 Dogs who are Really Digging Halloween this Year

Dressing up for Halloween is fun, but do you know what’s even more fun? Dressing up your dog. Check out these dogs who are rocking their costumes. You could learn a few things from their commitment.

1.) There ain’t enough room in this town for the both of us…

Dog Sheriff

There’s a new sheriff in town. He’s taking prisoners and you don’t want to be one of them. Just look at his no-nonsense mustache. He means business.

2.) I’m a greyhound. Uh, I mean giraffe.

Dog giraffe

Who let this guy out of the zoo? He’s got this giraffe thing down. Look at his tall stature, majestic shadow, and convincing background (that could definitely be the savanna). Nice work.

3.) What a cute little banana

Dog Banana

This dog is just about the cutest thing ever. He’s so happy to be a banana and he pulls it off.

4.) Ahhh a skunk! Runnnnn

Dog skunk

Oh, wait, it’s just a dog. No need to panic, silly. This guy is channeling his inner skunk (and his inner diva). Work that extended tail!

5.) Look at me! I’m a walrus!

Dog Seal

This dog is definitely in character. He’s got the sad endangered species look down and he will exploit your weakness for cuteness, so get those treats ready.

6.) I vant to suck your blood!

Dog Vampire

Look at those teeth! Grab some garlic and, whatever you do, don’t invite him in!

7.) Arrrr, matey!

Dog Pirate

Captain Jack Sparrow? Is that you? This dog could be in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie. He’s got all the makings of a great pirate–the hair, the threatening scowl, and even the booty.

8.) I’m innocent I tell you! Innocent!

Dog Prisoner

I don’t know what his crime was (maybe he ate all the bacon?), but this poor guy is definitely not on the sheriff’s good side.

9.) Just going for a swim…

Dog diver

Fins: check. Oxygen tank: check. Wet suit: check. Mask and snorkel: check, check. This guy has all the markings of a diver. Maybe he will teach you his ways if you ask nicely and offer him a bone.

10.) Me thinks my costume is better than yours.

Dog Yoda          Dog Vader

A war could break out between these two any moment. Get your light saber and choose a side.

11.) Break me off a piece of that…

Dog Kit Kat

What a duo. For the sake of Halloween, these two agreed to be bound to each other the whole night. Do you have the same dedication to your costume?

12.) Mooooove over. I’m going to win the costume contest.

Dog Cow

Don’t ask this guy to go upstairs. You’ll never get him back down.

(Get it? ‘Cause he’s a cow and cows can only go up, not down, stairs. It’s funny.)

13.) Harry and Hermione–dog edition.

Dog Harry Potter

Corgis are cute no what they do, but these two are precious. Just look at their pipe cleaner glasses!

14.) iDog here. Programmed to love cuddling, give wet kisses, and chase squirrels.

iDog

There are some kinks that need work (chewing shoes, peeing on the carpet, etc.), but this robot dog is still man’s best friend.

15.) Siri, find the closest dog park.

Dog iPhone

You only have your dog as your wallpaper? Try using your dog as your phone. Side effects may include a slobbery screen, frequent squirrel chases while trying to text, and inability to sit still, but the cute factor will make up for that.

And….a bonus one because it’s just too cute.

Gumby and Horse

Gumby and Pokey–an unstoppable pair.

Halloween is as fun as you make it, so why not go all out this year? Coordinate with friends or fly solo. Just make sure you rock it!

What do you plan to be this Halloween? Will your pet be sporting a new look? Send a picture of you (or your pet) dressed up to info@mainlinemunchies.com. Title the email “Halloween” and you could be featured on our Facebook page!

Basketball Season is Upon Us

The leaves are falling from the trees, the air is getting cooler, and that means it’s time for college basketball! To celebrate this occasion, here are 15 of the funniest basketball fails on the internet. Let’s hope the team you’re rooting for doesn’t have anything like this happen.

15.) Bulky necklaces are so last season…

Basketball little kid fail

14.) Basketball is only for the well-balanced.

Basketball slippery

13.) Nothing, but…nothing, just nothing.

Basketball free throw short

12.) This must happen all the time. No sign of concern from the friend.

Basketball friend unconcerned after fail

11.) Basketball is a team sport, which means…never mind. Not important.

Basketball high five fail

Sometimes your teammates are your downfall. He was golden until…

He was golden until...

10.) It isn’t a good idea to stand under a basketball net.

Basketball hit kid

9.) Or walk under one for that matter. Ever.

Basketball backward fail

8.) When dunking, make sure the hoop is secure.

Dunk backboard break

7.) Seriously, that wasn’t a joke.

Basketball jump shot fail

6.) Mixing trampolines and basketball will NOT end well.

Basketball trampoline fail

Where’s the ball?

Trampoline 2

This is going to be so cool! Or not…

Trampoline basketball fail

5.) Not sure what the goal was here…

Basketball self dunk fail

4.) Basketball hoop, baseball bat, and soccer ball. I think he’s confused.

Basketball hoop baseball bat

3.) It’s best not to mix sports.

Angle miscalculation

Seriously.

Don't mix sports

2.) That face is priceless.

Basketball reaction after fail

1.) Sometimes the best fail is one that should have gone horribly wrong, but ended up being awesome instead.

Basketball pool win

I know what I’m doing at my next pool party.

No matter what team you’re rooting for this season, remember to have fun and laugh off the fails. So throw on your bball gear, grab some friends, and enjoy with your favorite munchies.

MainLine Munchies

Publication3

    MainLineMunchies.com/Sweepstakes

Food’s Here!

Sunday=football day. You’ve got your jersey on and remote in hand. The only thing that’s missing is food. So, you go to MainLineMunchies.com and order some delicious sustenance. Now all you have to do is wait.

Waiting little boy

At last, the doorbell rings…your food is here! Everyone reacts differently to that moment when the wait is over. If you haven’t decided on a “food’s here” gleeful celebration, try these wonderfully delicious exhibitions of joy.

Put a big smile on your face. Your hunger will be gone soon.

Big Smile

Gasp, mouth open, and enjoy the rush of happiness.

Food is Here 2

Laugh gleefully and pump your arms up and down like you’re playing the drums.

Food is Here 9

Get on top of the nearest table, throw your hands in the air, and wave them around. Then get down (carefully) and get your food!

Food is Here 3

Put your fists up and shout triumphantly. Yeah!

Happy shout

Hands up, head back, let out your best evil villain laugh. Mwahahaha (that was mine).

Food is Here 10

Break out in your best end zone/touchdown dance.

Endzone Dance

Hop, skip, and jump to the door like a leprechaun.

Food is Here 7

Or, just wait in front of the door until the food’s here. It’s up to you.

When I'm waiting for my food to be delivered...

We all love that moment when our food arrives. Order from MainLineMunchies.com, capture your “food’s here!” celebration, and share it with us (info@mainlinemunchies.com). You could be featured on our Facebook page!

%d bloggers like this: